Andy and P’s Blog

I linked to this guy because I have read one of his books and he seems to not be a complete idiot. He may also be entirely or partially full of shit, granted, but he doesn’t seem to be a complete idiot. As in, unlike a large number of “ghost hunters” currently making the rounds, he might not scream and pee his pants at the mere sight of something weird.

I leave this blog alone for what, two months and I come back and it’s covered in goddamn spam. UGH. Okay I guess it is my fault, I should have upgraded Wordpress long ago, I am doing that right now. UGH UGH.

[ETA: DONE oh shit son this theme is perty. Sorry, P, love your old theme but daaaaamn.

*twiddly twiddly*
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor
Won’t you be mine? Won’t you be mine?
*takes off sport coat*
It’s a neighborly day for a beauty-wood, a neighborly day for a beauty
Won’t you be mine? Won’t you be mine?
*puts on cardigan, takes off dress shoes*
I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you
I’ve always wanted to live in this neighborhood with you, so
*puts on Keds*
Let’s make the most of this beautiful day
Since we’re together we might as well say
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won’t you be my neighbor?
Please won’t you be, please won’t you be
Please won’t you be my neighbor?

Hi, neighbor! How are you? It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?

Today we’re going to meet some of our other neighbors! These neighbors live in the woods behind Mr. P’s brand new house.

*cut to shot of blue light ball thingies floating around in woods*

Do you know what our neighbors are called? That’s right! Our new next-door neighbors are called will-o-wisps. Can you say “will-o-wisps?” I knew you could.

Do you want to go say hello to our new neighbors? I don’t think you really do. Do you know what will-o-wisps do for fun? That’s right! They lure people into the woods and before they know it, they’re falling riiiiight dooooown heeeeere–

*cut to shot of steep drop-off in woods, down to nasty pit of sharp pointy wood debris*

So we’re not going to go into the woods to say hello to our new neighbors. Because even though we’re smart enough to not follow them into the woods, we’re going to be careful and not take chances we don’t need to take. Also because Mrs. Andy would kill us. Can you say “dismembered?” I knew you could.

Now even though humans and will-o-wisps can’t really be perfect neighbors, we can still get along. You see, we have an arrangement with them. They live in the woods behind the horse barn. We live on the rest of the property. We don’t hurt them, and they don’t hurt us.

Sometimes they forget where their part of the property ends and our part of the property begins. It’s not very neighborly to invite yourself into someone else’s yard, is it? Of course not. But usually, all we have to do is give them a nice, polite reminder…

*cut to outside of house. Will-o-wisp cruises across front porch. Mrs. Andy opens living room window, leans out, yells “GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THE WOODS!” at will-o-wisp. Will-o-wisp beeps and does as told.*

…because they know if they don’t respect our boundaries, we’ll give them a reminder that isn’t quite so polite.

*cut to old footage of Mr. J.D. splatting a will-o-wisp against a tree, using an iron shovel as an improvised wispswatter*

That’s all the time we have today, neighbor. See you next time!

*twiddly twiddly*

Good news: we has a house :D

Bad news: we has no heater D:

I didn’t think we’d need it for another month, what the fuck

1. HELLO BUSY SEASON. P is starting to regret the whole “oh sure, I’ll come work at the print shop, it’ll be fun!” thing. To his credit, he didn’t completely flip his shit until a can of Reflex Blue got into a fight with his white O RLY owl T-shirt.

2. Neopets better hurry up with some Altador Cup loot, fr srs. COME ON, GIVE ME MY PRETTY PURPLE AND BLACK TROPHY ALREADY.

3. I fail at Guitar Hero.

That is all.

When Andy gets home we are going to go into town, find something to eat, and see a movie. This weekend, we are going to Louisiana.

Also, my parents sent me a big box of food and swag. Yay! \m/

So I’m sitting here on the couch taking a break from WoW. This space on the couch next to me contains my wife, who is currently boohooing over a childrens’ book. I’m trying not to look over there too much, because I know I will laugh if I do and she actually got “accio Kleenex” to work a few minutes ago and I don’t want to be her practice dummy when she starts working on the unforgivable curses kbye.

…yyyyyyes, that sort of does include P. *cough*

So, uh, this was supposed to be OMG SEKRIT till y’all got announcements in the mail, but this kind of goes back to that thing where it wouldn’t be a good idea for a bunch of us to be hanging around in one place at one time, so uh…

That thing I might have mentioned about leveling off some of the back pasture by the big pond, well, uh…we’re kind of building another house on the property. For me and P.

And we might have sort of come home by way of Brownsville to visit a certain tree-hugging dirt worshipper who just happens to be a legally ordained tree-hugging dirt worshipper, who may have, uh…

…sort of officially legally made us Mr. and Mrs. P.

So until the new house gets built we’re living in my room. As you can imagine, this is kind of awkward. *cough*

We’re going to make one more road trip in a month or so to pack up P’s crap and put his house up for sale and stuff, but until then we are going to sit on our asses and eat bonbons and barbecue and drink a lot of beer and pet my kitties and watch TV and fucking relax for a while.

Every once in a while, Penny Arcade reminds me why I used to like it.